Stop Driving with The Emergency Brake On

Posted On 6 December 2024

Those of us with driving experience have probably done this a time or two. Usually, it is purely accidental because driving with the emergency brake on is a bad idea. It is hard on the brakes and the engine has to work harder as well. The car is basically working against itself!

We can find ourselves doing a similar thing to ourselves. When we are doing something in a way that we are not being true to ourselves, we are driving with the emergency brake on.

Here are some ways to recognize when we are driving with the emergency brake on.

Trying too hard

I have done this so many times! So many times. When we are trying too hard, we are doing something in an unnatural way for us to do it. Someone else may be able to do it just fine. It might be something that just doesn’t work with our personality. Or maybe it is something we are not skilled at doing.

Whatever the cause, forcing things to happen is an indication that we are driving with our emergency brake on. When we realize that we are doing this, the best course of action is for us to stop and ask ourselves what we are doing. Why we are doing it is another good question to ask ourselves.

Being Too Nice

I heard this so many times during high school, yet I didn’t know what that meant. Nice is like money, right? You can’t have too much! Actually…

Being too nice is a sign of people-pleasing, not being authentic, and not being completely honest. I’m not encouraging you to start being a jerk! When you find yourself saying things you don’t agree with just to be liked, ask yourself why. What would be the worst that would happen if you were honest with that person?

I’ve found that people tend to respect those who speak their mind. Sure, they may disagree, but we can disagree and still get along. When we stop driving with the emergency brake on, people will know where we stand on topics.

Accepting Less

The final area where I will talk about driving with the emergency brake is when we accept less than we were expecting or wanting. Again, usually people-pleasing is involved with this.

It can be intimidating at first to stand up for ourselves and ask for what we truly want. We can (and should) do this respectfully. Asking for what we want allows us to release our emergency brake.

How does releasing your emergency brake relate to our finances? I’m glad you asked! The people in our lives are a valuable resource and part of our wealth. When we learn to get along with others at a higher level, our lives are easier. This increases the wealth in our lives. It also allows us to operate with less friction in our life.

Get in Flow

Speaking of less friction, being in a state of flow is amazing! Work feels like play. We can also get lost in time – it can even speed up and slow down at the same time!

When our work is enjoyable, we tend to do a better job. We want to learn more about what we are doing, so we get better (seemingly effortlessly!). Productivity goes up, and our earnings tend to increase as well.

Being in a state of flow, sometimes referred to as being “in the zone”, is something everyone should experience. I must warn you, though, you’ll want to get into this state again! I would recommend the book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi for those who would like to learn more about this.

Being Authentic

Letting our authentic self show is the easiest way of releasing the emergency brake in our life. How do we do that? One way is to say what we mean and mean what we say. Let people know where you stand on topics. It doesn’t have to be about big things. It could be simply stating what you’d like to eat when asked.

Being authentic means doing what feels right to you. We can respect others and be ourselves at the same time. Wear the clothes that you want (within reason, such as a dress code). Let your child-like curiosity lead you to discover new things, new ways of doing things, and questioning why people do the things they do.

Following Your Heart

Would you prefer to do different work than you are currently doing, or you are expected to do? Figure out what it would take to change careers. Would you like to live somewhere else? I have talked to people who hate winter, yet they live in the north! Asking them why they don’t move somewhere else usually gets me the “deer in the headlight” look. Apparently, they’ve never thought about that before.

Stop driving with the emergency brake on and follow your heart. What do you feel called to do? Where do you want to be? How would you like to live? Notice, I’m not asking you what you are expected to do. What do you want your life to look like?

Controlling Your Environment

We can’t control everything that happens to us, although we do have control over how we react to it. Make your house a home. Clean it up and fix it up. Don’t put up with broken or useless things.

If there are things in your life that you are not using, get rid of them. Sell them, give them away, or if it’s something you forgot about, start using it again. A word of caution: don’t get rid of your family – they are an extension of you.

The people in your life can either empower you or they can be an emergency brake. While you can’t sell them, you can limit your time with them. Instead, spend your time with people who energize you. This applies to social media as well. I get inspired by scrolling through my social media feed, and you can have that same experience. Remember that you are in control of your environment.

Light and Easy

When we release our emergency brake, we will find that things feel “light and easy”. Being authentic in everything we do makes life easier because we don’t have to remember how we are supposed to act at that specific time. We can just be ourselves.

This light and easy feeling reduces the stress in our life. We can focus easier, and our work seems lighter and easier. Driving with the emergency brake on takes energy, and we lose some of our forward motion energy to overcome the emergency brake. Instead of spending all this energy fighting against ourselves, we can use it to move in the direction we want to go. I encourage you to release your emergency brake and become unstoppable!